It is silent tonight. Dead silent. Not the kind of silent that I usually experience, today it is truly... silent. I’m gonna tell you something. There are eight parts of me. Eight people with names that all are a part of me. They coexist in my mind, having conversations, warning me, being paranoid. Sometimes... it gets a little crowded in there. So I live for nights like these. nights where my mind is silent, everyone is tucked away in bed. For no one is talking. I think without refrain, enjoying my thoughts because when it is loud, my thoughts do not feel like they are mine, and the ones that are do not feel safe. Almost like someone is always intruding into my mind, so I live for nights like these. Nights where I can bathe in my own thoughts, sit in peace and quiet for it is peaceful. it is serene. So as I lay up, looking at the moon, I think. I think of all the places I would like to go, the people I would like to meet and I smile. I smile at the thoughts playing through my mind, memories I like to relive only while I am alone. I begin to think of my father. Of all the Starbucks dates, I think of him holding my hand. Or of him picking me up and throwing me up into the air before catching me, always catching me. Finally, I think of him leaving. And I cry. I look up at the wavy image of the moon, distorted by my tears and I smile. I let the tears fall down my cheek and I stick my tongue out, tasting the salty liquid running down my face. My tears hit my knees and they fall to my bed. The pain slowly leaving my body. I feel a lightness in me as I get to relive these moments, normally tucked away for safekeeping. I get to miss him. I swing my knees over the edge and sit on my window sill, dangling my feet off of my two story high window. Memories flooding my brain, my mouth curls up. I feel my feet tingle with fear, I remember days at Disney land, skipping down Main Street. I long to be a kid again, carefree and.. well happy. But I can not. So I settle for the silence. I settle for tonight. I settle for peace. I settle for reminiscing. I settle for right now because I know tomorrow I will have to tuck away my hopes and dreams, I will not be able to wish upon a star. I know tomorrow it will not be silent. So I sit and look up at the moon and its stars and I smile. I settle for, freedom.