There is this fear and I know I shouldn't and I know I should have faith and yet it is still there.
Blinding and gripping me tightly as I try to gaspingly yank with every fiber of my being to get away bc I am not worthy. the illusion that one day I'll crumble and let your sweet sunlit face saunter over like a dove and whisper to me that I belonged there all along makes me want to laugh and cry at the same time. Why do I believe I don't belong? Do I? You say I shouldn't have this fear that it is the fear that will ******* me in the end and that if I believe I belong then so I shall. I **** myself off to still in knowing that I do and should belong that feel I don't. That I fear i wont. God, I just want to be the person you knew I would be when you created the beginning of me. I know I'm not there and I'm scared I will never be. What is your plan for me? Am I on the right path? Am I even close?