I am a wicked witch
With black hair, crooked teeth
My friends call me Myrtle
My cat Jinks, who can’t spell, calls me Keith
I can turn an ugly, fat frog into prince
When I spend my nights making spells
But it’s much funnier and more often, than not
The prince is turned into a frog, don’t tell.

I am a wicked witch
I have princesses knocking at my door
Looking for true loves first kiss. Yuk!
So, they buy apples and spinning wheels
Hoping to find their prince, tough luck!
The princes are living in my pond, eating flies.
But I tell them eat the apples, ***** their fingers
One day their prince will come. Wicked me, what lies!

I am a wicked witch
The king has arrived at my door
He isn’t looking happy. I best make ready to run.
Witch Myrtle, he says, I need your help
I don’t know what to do. You are the only one
That I can rely on, no-one else can do.
A Dragon is roaming the kingdom
He roars fire, eats sheep, I need you.

I am a wicked witch
But I say kindly, my King there is no need to worry
I have the just the thing that can help
But you must promise to do everything I say
You can have no misgivings, no doubt
I have a sword that will cut through dragon scaling
And flame-proof armour, nothing like you’ve seen
So stop your crying and no more wailing
Now listen carefully. Good, he seems keen

I am such a wicked witch
Word has come back from the town
Telling of the meeting between the king and dragon
How the king stood tall and proud, despite the titters all around
Dressed in a flame proof diaper and holding a green snake tail rattle
How the dragon looked at the king, before slowly falling to the ground
People say in all their years, they had never seen the sight
Of a dragon rolling in laughter, there is no stranger sound.

Oh dear, I am a wicked witch
The king sent solders to arrest me. But I have sent them back
As rats dressed in ballet shoes and fluffy white tatu’s.
I am sure the King will like them. But then again, maybe not.
I think it’s time I left this house and pack up all my things.
I am ready to go with Jinks on my shoulder. But this broom’s too small
So, I call in a favour from a friend, and he is happy to oblige
Because dragon, really is the best way to fly, after all.