Dear Donald Trump, my friend,
I bet your patience is wearing thin.
Because of your democracy,
Investigations are closing in.

Since I can use my magic
To make people disappear,
Such investigative threats
Are never going to happen here.

From watching your revolving-door
Administration, I can see
That you, like me, expect one thing
Above all others: loyalty.

What is all this talk about
Ties with Russian oligarchs?
Don't your people realize that
Our bites are much, much worse than our barks?

Although I appreciate
What you did during your campaign--
The helpful steps you took to soften
Your stance on giving aid to Ukraine--

We still have a ways to go.
But one thing that I have to say
Is you have been good about
Respecting our little NDA.°

Lifting sanctions would be a big help.
I thought that maybe a good incentive
Would be our many ICBMs,
For you know we're very inventive.

But, no, let's not talk about threats.
If your cards are rightly played,
You will be as strong as I.
In other words, you'll have it made.

Ah, silence is golden, no?
One thing is sure as shootin':
I'd hate to have to spill the beans
'Bout you know what. Your friend, Putin.

-by Bob B (4-2-18)

°non-disclosure agreement