Laying in a dark room gazing at a ceiling fan
Bundled within the mountain of pillows and blankets that drape my bed
The ones around me are already dreaming
And only the soft beat of my heart and calming breathe could be heard
It's times like this when my mind wonders off and the question without answers arrive



What if I did make the decision to move out of state?
How different of a person would I have been?

What if my parents never got a divorce?
Would I be an older sister to just one sibling instead of two?

What if I knew exactly what to say at exactly the right time?
How would my last relationship be holding up?

What if I truly loved myself and was overflowing with courage and boldness?
Would people still like me?



As the night goes on I catch myself still thinking of these 'what if' statements
Or maybe they just never leave my mind