Lightheaded

My heart tearing up my chest

Sweating

My stomach throbbing

Overthinking

Memories

P
A
N
I
C
A
T
T
A
C
K

I can’t cry here
I can’t throw up playing a clarinet
So I run
to the bathroom

And I start dry heaving
Until tears flow
And I can’t control myself

But I only have a minute
To get ahold of myself
And
To make sure it looks like I didn’t
just lose my emotions

God, I hate this

I hate my facades
I’m not truly okay half the time
I just act happy
Because I
HATE
It when people worry about me

I’m not worthy of love
Not yet that is
I need to learn to love myself
Before I can love anyone else

But
I hate this facade
That I’ve made for myself

I’m sorry..