i could just go downstairs
look you in the eyes
and open my mouth
smile, speak, anything
i could just get next to you
and sit down in triumph
for having proved myself wrong
and have a conversation
about anything you want
i could just get my nose
out of my book
tearing my eyes away from the words
that offer me an excuse to be alone
and show you that i know
youre more important
i could prove to myself that i am STRONG
and i CAN try
i could just try...
just...
but i dont.
instead
im sitting in the dark
(i cant see anything)
eating mac n cheese
and thinking about how much i want you
alone with my
comfort food and comfort thoughts
because i could and i should but i cant
......but im deseperate...