Every time the word ‘no’ comes out of my mouth,
Sorry reverberates
in the cavern of my skull.
As if I had just broken
every, last promise
made for me
when I was forced into
a world of blind eyes
and silent women.

Every time ‘no’ slips out of me
Like an unwelcome spider
Slipping through the crack
Between the wall and the floor
my breath catches
and I think to myself
“what did I just do?”

When a 16-year-old girl said no
to a “prom-posal”
she was murdered
by a 19-year-old male
who was taught his ego
is more important than a
woman’s life.

Because a woman on the subway
was uncomfortable with a man
placing his hands on her
like a ghost
seen by nobody else
she was slammed to the ground
and beaten
until her wrist was broken
and the man was satisfied
that she had paid the right price
for speaking up.

We live in a world
where no means absolutely nothing
when coming from the sweet-glossed lips
of a woman.
Because if no actually
Meant no,
Men would know when to stop.

Instead,
Women are ***** and told never to walk alone at night
Women are ***** and told to carry pink-painted pepper spray
Women are ***** and told “maybe you shouldn’t have dressed like a ****”

And yet
You have the audacity to tell me
That sexism is “dead”
And that I have no reason to worry
About being on my own
In a world where no
Means death.