It is scary
That there are night mares which  lasts longer
when I am awake
Than when I am asleep.
I awake to find no one there.
Not enough change to just pick up my things and go.
I wish to find a group and a place
to which I have support on which to grow and keep on with my show.
I fear I am melting away.
As my dreams are happier than how I ever spend my days.
I force myself to push forward
Forging another path to a brighter future....
Maybe , tomorrow, a miracle can happen
and I can find a ride to a way, for myself, on the way in which to nurture.