I have this calling that I'm trying to ignore
Because it goes against the grain of societal norms.
But without a hand in, I'm suffocating.
The tide pulls me in and I want to obey...
I want to.
But I fear the coiled tongue of those around me,
Will lash out like darts to pierce the one veil of security within me.
And then there's the injustice it would do to my ethnicity--so proud of hymnals built on crosses and prayers that if I falter...I feel I fail them and all the generations before me.
It hurts.
To think that pent-up aggression and hatred towards myself for being a coward could ever feel so --lonely.
I want to feel the rush of energy from the cool grass beneath me as,
I kick off my sandals and embrace my soul,
Through the soles of my feet.
It is a wanted thing...
A passion burning much like whiskey down a ****** throat.
Except this one is all-encompassing.