dear everyone who left,

i sit here and i crave you.
i crave it all.
your skin pressed up against mine.
your hands entangled in mine.
the way your mouth moves when you talk.
our memories are my favorite past time.
but right now,
it all hurts too much to think about.
you didn’t only know my smiles,
you understood my tears.
crying with you i felt safe.
your hands caught my tears like
a gutter catches the rain.
but right now,
my tears are falling and the only thing catching them
is the t-shirt you left me.
it still smells like you.
but it’s not enough because
laughing with you felt like home.
and right now i feel like an orphan.
i don’t remember falling in love with you.
i just remember that if you ever left i wouldn’t be able to breathe because
your presence was the air that fueled my lungs.
without you i am empty.
its funny how you once were my world
but became my hell.
now the only thing i can do is
trust that He will bring us back
together again.
i sit here and i still crave you.
i crave the way you made me want to love myself.

sincerely,
the woman who still loves you