two
of us
lying
on our stomachs
and to each other
silently
did he see
what I saw
did he smell
what I smell
how close were they
to us
how many were there
I have only one magazine left
he has two
if he
gets it first
I will grab his
what
would he think
if he knew
what I thought
I want to ask him
“are there any ***** there”
but my whisper
will be a lighthouse of sound
to Charlie
a beacon for him
to hone in on
and zap me
so I don’t whisper
and neither does he
I wondered
with all my squad members
dead around me
if he ****** his pants
like I did
not during the firefight
but two eternal hours later
two hours in this black grass
under this black sky
my thoughts of the noble dead
drowned by my ****
who knows
what others thought
in black pre-nothingness
God I want to whisper to him
to ask if he ****** on himself
to ask if he could see Charlie
to ask if he was thinking of home
to ask if knew I was alive
four feet from his elbow
smelling
my ****
the oil on his weapon
the dead buddies
all around us
and the sweat of the VC
I wanted to ask
in a whiffed whisper
but
could not
for questions have answers
but answers may have nothing
so I did not
and when the sun
slowly washed the night away
I still
couldn’t bring
myself to ask
if we…
if we
were still alive