Love is the urge to **** yourself
It’s the immediate feeling of self-doubt, self-hate, and self harm when you think of how you hurt the one you love
I know the feeling all too well, because. I hurt the one I love, in a way I can’t undo. And everyday I regret it, and feel the pain of it.
I feel the pain often, especially when the one I love is upset, because no matter what I go through, they’re going through something worse.
The one they love, betrayed them.
Belittled them
Made them feel inferior to one they never felt inferior to
And that’s my fault
Not anyone else's
Mine.
I’m not asking for pity
I’m not asking for excuses
I’m asking for forgiveness
And I think that’s selfish.
Me wanting it to go away is selfish in my own eyes
My mistake will live with me throughout my life
I won’t lose it, no matter how much I run.
Some days I think if I just stop running, and fade, it’ll all go away
And I’m right
It would.
Love is the urge to **** yourself