I eat when I'm depressed
I'm depressed a lot
I eat when I'm anxious
I'm anxious a lot
I eat a lot
The new stretch marks on the corner of where my arm meets my shoulder scream
"THIS BODY CONSUMES A LOT OF FOOD"
And I hate myself for it
And I want to hide
And that's cliche
But the feeling of worthlessness only comes from misogynistic beauty standards being shoved down my throat from since I was little
But my brain doesn't care where that feeling comes from
My brain tells me to eat
or to throw up after I eat
or to run because I ate too much
and then eat some more
I would probably die from shock if I told myself I was beautiful
And, since I don't want to die
right now
I'll just eat and hate myself for it