if you called me right now
would I even answer?
do i know better?

the thought of listening to your
sweet honey voice
makes my body tremble.
knees weak
heart beat
nauseous.

i don't.
i would answer.

i would hold my breath.
clench my jaw so tight.
knuckles white.
smile through the phone,
pretend that i'm alive


i'm just not strong
enough
to resist you
today
or
ever.