Seven years ago today An immature teen Clocked by reality Life had been so good I had a roof plenty of food so many dreams I thought would come true In the months leading up To that fateful day I lost hope in the world Cut my ties with religion Pushed the whole world away Because I was in pain Emotionally distraught - “This can’t be real” was my only thought pinch pinch pinch till I bruised But I wouldn’t wake up In those days I felt like each was eternal Daily visits to the hospital To see the strongest person I knew Slowly losing his strength Drugged up so much He forgot who I was I couldn’t understand Why he couldn’t remember One day I sat by him To keep him company He was so fed up He just wanted to die To leave that forsaken room Of which he was a prisoner He yanked his iv With so little strength As I held him down With tears pouring out my eyes He looked into my soul And with such a piercing rage yelled at me - “You’re worthless let me go you are not my son” Those words cut deep And broke me inside. - My last memory with him Kills me to this day It was the last chance I had to visit And I went into his room I tried to have a conversation But he was delirious He had 5 blankets But he shivered and said “Nieve, nieve” I hugged him tight A million thoughts running Through my mind - In my head I ran away with him Took him on a journey to cross off Everything from his bucket list - In reality I sat with him and wept He wiped away a tear and murmured under his breath Words I couldn’t make out So I tried my best to figure it out “Fruta” i managed to hear So I started naming fruits “Sandia” He nodded no “Fresa” His head again shook Till I guessed what he wanted I promised him I would bring him one back The very next morning On my way to school I passed by a tree And the fruit my dad wanted Hanging within reach And as I walked closer I thought to myself I’ll pick it later And headed to class - I still remember clearly the moment I found out I was in 3rd period algebra When I got called to the office Which wasn’t something new Since I was a rebel But I felt my gut drop And somehow I knew “I don’t know how to say this, your sister is on the phone” Said the lady in the office She handed me the phone I didnt even let my sister speak “Ok, bye” - The office lady asked me if I wanted to go home But the last thing I wanted was to see Was the bigger picture I had lost peices of the puzzle All that was left was rubble Seven years to this day I’m still constantly depressed And filled with regret