my fingers tremble
my mind fumbles
my thoughts tumble down
the drain
my brain goes blind
my eyes start to bleed
with the pain i keep
the hurt i bleed,
and the sorrow i seed
in my ink.


as i write my suffering
to you
always wondering
where you are
sometimes wandering
there out far
where i can hear
us clear, still-
young and laughing,
still filled, with love
for years to come,
but the time always comes
no matter who you are
or what you do
someday everything has
to burn,
the page has to turn,
so a new tale could be told
and that's how i lost you
and that's why this is,
what was, will always be true,
but i never knew-
i never cared, and now when
i'm here i'm aware, what it means
to have a dream,
what it means to scream just
to dull the silence and null
the violence running through
the veins,
there's pain and then there's
this something more,
that i can't describe, maybe
it's just life, i don't know,
maybe that's how it goes, that's
how it's all supposed to be,
but i see you when i don't want
to see, and i hear you even when
i'm screaming, now you're not even
mine when i'm dreaming,
now, i don't remember your face,
when i look you in the eye,
maybe nothing was true, and it
was all a lie, but i have two kids
there somewhere happy under a
blue sky, and it reminds me,
of me and you, and i hope i go
blind before i forget this too,
before i die here without you,
in the middle of the universe.