I scratch the words into my skin
etching in everything about this moment
and i don't cry while doing this
because i trust it to last

he takes the pen out of my hands
this feels like a jolt of bad electricity
my circuit is broken
i have too much signal in me

he said what are you doing
stop

i say  stop
i want to remember this exactly as it is
i want to remember this forever
i'll go back to this
all the time

he says then be here
be here now
be here with me

your brain will do the rest

i said you could never understand
i could never remember this as it is
by morning
something will feel off
and the reel you think i have of this moment
will be so tangled
it no longer plays

he is getting mad
i can tell
i go back to the signal my circuitry
wants me to not break
i go back to etching

i can feel him sighing

i raise my fist i want to hit him
i roll up my sleeve as far as it goes
19 days ago i'd etched that i loved him

and so i don't