2:55 Am, Sunday, July 22, 2012.

Today -or technically yesterday I suppose-
I wrote
about the randomest things my mind could convey,
as I waited for you to get off work.

and as I waited, I thought to myself,
I wonder if you are thinking about me too.

Then, like clock work,
my cellphone vibrated.
buzzz

I swiftly unlocked it.
across, all the way to the left, down, to the right, second circle.

one unread message

and it simply read
i love you <3

The flutters in my chest refused to subside
as I typed my response.

I

space

l
o
v
e

space

y
o
u

space

t
o­
o

space

less than

<

three

3

And at this moment it all hit me.
Harder than it had before.
In the gut.
Knocking the wind out of me.

When would I finally be able tell you again,  
that I loved you,
tell you that you meant the world to me,
tell you how losing you would shatter my heart
into a billion little pieces.
When would I be able to tell you all of this to your face?

To look you in your green gold eyes
and pour my heart out to you.
tell you everything I had been
too much of a coward to say before.
Or maybe,
Maybe I had not known the whole story,
and I wanted to finish it before
I would ask you to read it.

But I made a promise to myself.
that I would not let this distance break my spirits,
or tear down the hope that we had hung so carefully,
like a picture, moving it this way and that
trying to get it perfectly on the wall that we had created
and surrounded ourselves with
so that we would be safe from the
doubts
and
evils
and
the heartbreak.

And we had placed ourselves
in this room of walls
so that we could remain here forever.
In bliss.
In each other's arms.
so that I would always be able
to look into your green gold eyes and tell you that
I loved you.

And that would be enough.
That would be enough to keep you and I
as one.

But what do we do now?

What do we do while we are 1,172.469 miles away from each other?
How am I supposed to look you in your eyes and tell you that
I love you?

How is this possible?

....oh yeah,
that's right.
it's not.

And I promised myself
I wouldn't let this distance
break my spirits,
or my hope.
And that I would ignore the
doubts
and
evils
and
the heartbreak.

But that's such a hard thing to do when you're 1,172.469 miles away.