She said she'd always be there

She said she'd always be there for me
As I weep on the floor of the bathroom after I had just emptied the contents of my stomach

She said said she'd always be there for me
As I scream and hit my head against the cabinet because the pain in my chest is excruciating

She'd said she'd always be there for me
But where was she when her and my dad yell at each other and I'm in my room silently crying as to not become the target of their wrath

Where was she when she yells at me telling me she doesnt want to see my face anymore

Where was she when I had nightmares and went to her for help and she just brushed me aside angrily and went back to bed

Where was she when I had my first major mental break down at six years old and my dad threw me into a cold shower telling me to calm down, making me cry more and the wrath become more severe

Where was she when I was nine and she yells at me because I dropped her Pyrex dish, calling me useless and then disappears into her bathroom to go smoke a joint

Where was she when I was ten years old crying and holding my knees because anywhere was better than there

Where is she where I sit in my bathroom with a blade and bad intentions

She'd said she'd always be there for me, but she's the reason I need someone in the first place