As I sit her staring at the wall
thinking of things that destroy us all,
I think of you.
As I sit her pondering the possibilities
and dreaming of opportunities,
I think of you.
I think about how you made me feel.
Like nobody other than you could truly love me,
As I sit here trying to forget you,
the way your skin smelled.
They way things were before they went to ****.
Trying to forgive myself for giving you all the chances
I could physically and mentally handle,
I think of you.
Dreaming of a day when the idea of shaving my legs
scares me
because I can't trust myself not to cut again
Dreaming of a day when I can be alone and not
crumble under the weight of the memories.
Dreaming of the day I can go to sleep
without seeing you on top of me,
without smelling your breath.
Dreaming of escape.
I dream of you leaving
I dream of you staying.
I dream of walls, razors and things that destroy us all.
I dream of you.