i wish i knew how to say “i want to help you see me”
without making you hear “i want to destroy all that you know”
for all that you wound me, i still love you
god, do i love you
and i wish i could say for sure that you knew

blood of my blood, son of my mother
brother of mine as i am your brother
when you speak, you scald me so
to let myself close to you one moment
is to sear my own lips closed the next
the fire of your disapproval burns hotter than you know
and i can lead you to water, but i can’t make you drink
all my efforts earn me
is a place to cool the blisters you leave along the way

brother mine, if you love me, then tell me
because the more you speak, the more i’m unsure
if you even want to know me
i want so much to help you understand
foolhardy though it may be, i haven’t given up on you
but every day, i think more and more
that you’ve given up on me