I feel nothing and everything at once I feel shell shocked but haven't been to war The weight of my limbs keeping me here And the heart beating so fast is ironic My mind's iconic I see blue all around me My eyes are grey Giving myself a headache I wander outside of my body It's scary And terrifying is the sound of my voice But I have to keep breathing In sync with my breath I think I'm thinking a lot as I start to panic I feel like I'm dying Everything in side of me is ultrasonic I'm crying And if this is what feeling is like I'd rather not An epiphany Maybe my panic attacks happen As a result of me not letting myself Feel