Dear Chaos,
Hi.
I don't know how to start this because I'm sure this is going downhill from here,
But how are you?
I'm...coping.
There's this whirlwind going inside of my mind and All my insides are compelled on coming up,
Any minute now.
I'd ask if you'd lend me a hand but I know that whatever you touch, you're pledged to burn.
Sometimes I feel like that;
Anything my fingers come across,
The contents become ash
A figment of my imagination,
No longer present.
How is it that you're so used to the damage you create?
No matter how many times I ruin something,
This ache within me grows.
There's a hole in the center of my chest.
I think the void will swell and someday,
I'll disappear.
Chaos,
Why does it always seem like loneliness hangs onto me?
This weight that presses into my lungs makes it hard to breathe.
I lie there in my half filled bath tub and think about how it would be to drift through space.
There's this immense silence that I wish my mind would contain but I'm guessing it's used to the endless talks and gibbering of nonesense.
Chaos,
There's so much hurt...
Why can't you leave me alone?
Why can't something else clutch onto me and love me
Why does it have to be you?
Am I supposed to appreciate that I get loved by you, even though I slowly lose myself in this maze you've created inside my head?
Chaos...write me back.
Help me understand.
Yours truly,
Angel.