I feel so far behind.
It eats at me,
fills me with envy,
fills my throat with bile.

My friends, family,
are just given things.
I mean, that's what family does, right?
They create a support system,
and help each other.

I barely had hand-me-downs.
Even now, if I want something,
I have to buy it.
There's no one I can mention it to
that might get it for me
as a gift.
I've earned nearly everything I have.

I know it sounds silly.
I'm not even materialistic,
but I feel so far behind.
I see people doing things at my age,
**** I want to do,
but can't
because I'm still trying to earn my way
to where they were
in high school.

I am the support in the family.
I always have been.
I know it's selfish,
but where's mine?

I feel so far behind
with no one around
to lend a hand.