I’m writing an essay
on purging variables. It involves some fieldwork:
today I’m going try porridge. Yesterday I tried soup and cucumber slices.
Hypothesis: If I use a 2:1 fluid to oats ratio, it’ll be so ******* easy that
it will barely qualify as
self-induced regurgitation!
Result: self-hatred, an electrolyte imbalance, a ******* sore throat and
two hours of my life that
I will never get back.

(Once, I really wanted to purge an ice cream cone. Instead
I was staring back at
bits of a cheese toastie and salad, which I’d
had before
the cone.
****’s sake.
Bodies are weird!
Or maybe
the data I’ve been gathering on this
pro-ana forum is unreliable? Citation needed.)

I’ve got a presentation tomorrow
on calorie deficits.
If you want to have 35g porridge oats and 45g banana for breakfast
then you must make it with 120ml water and 80ml almond milk!
Or you could
skip the banana entirely and
Have 45g oats with
a drizzle of honey.

It’s as simple as that!
This or that—
If P then Q
A scientific practicality!

A logical fallacy
eroding my sanity.