This is for everyone else,
Because finally I'll get this off my chest,
But it will never be out of my system.
This is my apology;
The pain you may never see;
Just me saying sorry for ever single time.
Everyday the rest of you expect communication,
Except you've stopped attempts to seek it from me,
And although some of you make efforts,
It's still just not the same.
I'm separate from all of you.
This is why I'm telling everyone;
I'm sorry I can't speak with you;
I'm sorry when I walk into a room
That you wish I wasn't there;
I'm sorry when you're paired with me
It's such a problem
-I'm just not as fun as the others,
And it's kind of like I'm not there;
I seem to just get in the way,
But everyone's too nice to show it bothers them.

Now here's my attempt to explain,
Or to try and make you almost understand.
It's not that I don't want to talk to you;
Or that I hate everyone here;
And I'm not trying to eavesdrop without giving anything away.
Instead it's as if,
I just can't work the same way you all do.
Sometimes I try to socialise,
And it just doesn't work.
Mostly it's just that,
Me and the rest of us
Have different takes of what that means.
For me, being social
Can just be showing up.
Humans thrive off social interaction,
So obviously I do too,
But for me this is limited,
Because this can just make my life worse.

I see how now everyone is more like one big group,
Which I am not a part of.
I guess I prefer having a few close friends,
Plus after the last group I'm less confident,
And now the aspect's not that bright,
I became a mess.
You all seem to be happy in company,
And then there's just me standing away from it all:
Literally on the sidelines.
If I was like you lot,
I'd just be able to start talking,
And that would be okay,
And maybe I could even be part of the jokes and fun.
This almost happens in one lesson,
But the thing is, those of you in it,
Would still think I never talk in those moments.

Many of you are kind,
And really try to make me feel...
Spoken to.
Maybe less anxious.
Then I get more socially anxious,
Because I don't do enough,
I can't just start talking to you like all of your friends,
So maybe you don't think I appreciate it.
Though you could literally give me one kind glance,
And I'll be amazed and eternally grateful,
As I expect less than that.

So because I cannot speak enough,
My mind doesn't seem strong enough to cope,
And the rest of you think I'm really shy,
I'm saying it here,
One last time:
I'm sorry I don't participate, communicate and socialise like you want,
But I won't tell you it will change,
Because that's not something easily cured,
And this was my apology.