i.
you opened your umbrella and told me i was the prettiest soul in the world
even though i was ******* sure my soul was the most terrible soul out there.
but your reassuring smile gave me goosebumps.
and that was the moment i fell in love with you.

ii.
i opened my umbrella even though i was close to where i was going to meet up with my best friend
and i realized that you were telling the truth about my ****** up soul
and so there i was, smiling like a dumb idiot,
holding a blue umbrella under the rain.
and that was the moment i realized that i wanted to spend the rest of my life with you.

iii.
you opened your umbrella and walked away
when you saw me under a different umbrella with a different guy.
and you walked alone to your house,
oblivious to the storm circling around you
and the clouds that told you the truth:
i didn’t love you anymore.

iv.
i opened my umbrella even though i wanted to walk in the rain
because he told me i’d get sick and he didn’t want that to happen.
but i remembered the time we danced in the rain
and we looked in each other’s eyes and found home,
and i wanted so badly to dance under the rain
while you were dancing somewhere far and drowning in liquor
that didn’t help you forget about me
but it made you feel less numb than you already were.
and then two days later, i got sick.
my darling, i danced in the rain because it reminded me too much of you
and all i got was a bad case of coughs and colds
that until now, live within the cobwebs buried in my chest.

v.
731 days after the day you asked me if i could be yours forever,
i walked under the rain and thought to myself:
i am the most terrible soul in the world
because i
let
you
go
and all that is left of you
is the ******* rain
and this ******* pain.
and this is the moment i dream of you as i drift to sleep.