i'm not sure how it works for normal people.
but i know how it worked for me.

it was june.
i was 21.

i got a call.
only a few months they said.
but i didnt understand, he's only 5.
how could this be.
how could god take something so new and special to me.

a few months ended up being 3.
he was buried in a kid-sized grave.
a family broken apart and a boy to never come of age.

before this loss i always thought there was a point.
a plan.
god must have things under control right?

but this made me think.
how could this little one suffer a short life and painful death of there was a loving god?

didnt seem loving to me.
didnt seem like it was real anymore.
didnt seem like there was a purpose anymore.

i dont think i comprehended death fully until that moment.
when i saw that little body lowered into the ground and realized it would never become big.
does it all just really stop?
is there no purpose?