So when they ask "Are you okay?"
reply in honesty
because half the time i wasn't okay
because half the time i lied
because half the time i would hide
all my feelings as if they would
just go away.
like toxins in the comforting breeze
but i was wrong
just like the times
i hoped for change without changing

And when he told me the bitter reality
and after i cried
and after i screamed
and after i fell
i didn't move on
my bones cried out in agony
and my heart mourned
but i couldn't move on.
Don't get me wrong i say
my life was a mess before then
but who can say how they felt as a babe?

So i try to recall the more it
slips further
i can't imagine being too distraught
but looking back makes me teary
why?
i barely knew her, both of them
actually, factually i knew both for
four years
Am i supposed to be sad?
mad?
my thoughts are muddled in the
cesspit of disparity

But look at ME!
look now and don't be fooled
it's true i took a beating
black and blue
but I'm here- alive
by luck, sure but see
i don't count that as me
i'm much more than words can describe