I start to drift and then it happens,
My heart races and my mind starts to wander.
Reflecting on the day,
on all the things I wish I could say.
The more I let myself go,
the further I slide downward into the spiral.

The obsessions take over and I begin to pace.

My body,
too exhausted to move from this routine
stays perfectly still,
in hopes that maybe I can somehow trick my brain into falling asleep.

No such luck,
I start to twitch and all of a sudden I'm up and moving,
accomplishing everything and nothing all at once.

As if nothing can wait until tomorrow.

This moment,
my would be moment of slumber,
is the exact second I become inspired to flow freely,
and express my desperate need to just shut off for a while.

A normal moment,
a regular time of day,
when the whole world is sleeping.

Why can't I take charge of my own existence,
why can't I find some peace.  
Life is amazing,
just let me enjoy it...

Instead of constantly reminding me that I stand apart from most.