I'd always been afraid of becoming addicted to drugs.
The kinds that will keep you hostage after just one use.
But nobody ever warned me about becoming addicted to a person.
The kind that keep you hostage after just one kiss.
I remember everywhere we would go, you always had to be touching me.
Drawing small circles on the palms of my hands.
Playing with the ends of my hair.
Hugging me.
Kissing me.
Hurting me.
I became so accustomed to your hands on my body that every time you left I felt like I was going through withdrawls.
So even after the third blow
And even after me screaming at you to leave
I would tell you to please just hit me one more time
Because i'd rather feel your hands inflicting pain on my body than not feel them at all.
But yet I would always tell myself,
I'm not addicted
And I don't need you
And this is the last time
And despite every wave of insecurity crashing down on my mind, one small thought stays afloat;
I cannot survive without you.
So where was my warning sign
My caution content is highly addictive sign
My run like hell in the opposite direction sign
My no amount of bread and wine can heal this pain sign
And jesus christ there is so much pain.
I'd always been afraid of becoming addicted to drugs.
The kinds that will keep you hostage after just one use.
But look at me now
****** and ******* have got nothing on me
I'm addicted to the newest drug and it's called losing your self worth.
Its called choking on any small shred of confidence you have left.
Its called hating the person who lives inside of your skin because they most certainly are not you.
But nobody ever warned me about becoming addicted to a person.