My knees rub red against the cold tile floor and
I am holding my hair away from my face
Where did I learn to do this?

A finger down my throat, I gag, almost choke, eyes burn, sticky tears
The girl I used to be, long ago dead and trampled under my feet
I use her body as a stepping stool to reach
My own place of harm and peace

Please not a third time
Once is a mistake
Twice is a coincidence
But three times-
Three strikes, and you're out of luck, they say
I'm on my knees and behind me I hear the clock strike three
It's a death sentence, an addiction
It's acid washing over your teeth

I should've fought more
I just wanted to see my bones

I cry in my sleep.