to be the other side of trauma is  unusual
loneliness is extreme
forever friends have gone
there are empty seats at the table
telephone numbers have changed
even family has moved on

time has evaporated
my clock and calendar are set at six years ago
time  stolen from me and my life
recreating a history from social media posts
the time lived by those who were close once
they look so happy and have lived

can I make up for time lost
do the living not done
reverse the injury cover over the scars
circle back at points and take that time back
put in a claim for what life owes me
does insurance cover that sort of loss  

finding a way back
is putting together a puzzle where the pieces don’t fit
by using a knife and mallet
more often now in a rush
to make sense of the past and put the missing history
back together, I have wasted too much time lost out here



@journeyofdays