I can never tell you what you mean to me. For you to see the truth in my words, in my position, will be a stretch. I know you view the world with jaded rosy glasses. But you like them. They still fit. They're comfortable. I get it. Perhaps that is the chasm that I couldn't see from the beginning. Because I forgot my glasses. I saw everything. And now everything is upside down, spinning. Has it always been this way? I panicked. I'm paranoid. I've been hurt, deeply, too many times. I was a doormat for so long I became one, to my core. And that's when I knew. Break it off now, there's no way it'll be reciprocated-it never is. I thought you would be the one to prove me wrong, but I fooled myself. Because you fooled me. The ******* hormones in my brain were having such a good time getting to know each other that they forgot where the hell they put the keys and where they were going and what year it is. How? Why? When?

My soul sings for you. It cries for you. But you will never know this. I tried to walk confidently on the frozen lake, but you were quick to remind me that our weight together will make us fall in. Apart, a small distance, we can be together. But only sometimes for a short while.

Do you know I love you? I am, truly, in love with you. But hey, I don't know how 'serious' you'll take me. I'm just a silly blonde girl. Like the blonde you dated for a month before me that felt the same way. We're all the same to you. Our love? It's something dreams are made of. Ethereal is the only word in this world that comes close.

All I know, is that I'm done. I'm done in the way that scares me inside. Because I'm not alone now. My shadow friend is back. I haven't seen him in two ******* years. Can't say I've missed him, but he's back here now. The ball isn't even in your court. I think we both lost the ball, or maybe, just maybe, the ball left us.