She was everything I ever wanted.
Her euphoria as contagious as the common flu
Her warm and cozy feeling like a hug you give to your stuffed teddy bear
Her laughter as colorful as a Monet painting
Her tender hands just like a fawn
She was everything my brain desired to have

Immediately I wanted her all the time
Every Second
Every Minute
Every Hour
Every time the hand on the clock moves
She was all I ever desir—

Wait…
I forgot something
Let me start over.

I have ADHD
… at least I think I do
Look for me in the classroom staring off the window
Because I was either suddenly interested in the conversation between two passers-by about their finals
Or perhaps a baby bird flew by the window sill
Look for me at my own home frantically flipping off
Because for the one hundred and twenty-seventh time, I’ve lost my own phone
Sit beside me? Sure! Why not?
IMeanIt’sNotLikeI’mCompletelyQuietButI’mReallyAFunPersonToBe­WithBecauseIHaveSoMuchStori—
Sorry about that…
But… give me a task and I’ll be eager to do it
But in a count of three, I’ll magically fall asleep within the couch because…

What did you told me again?

Anyways...
Do you still remember that day?
The one at our science laboratory?
I met you.
You still had braces on
I saw it peeking when you smiled at me as I told a joke to you
You still had long straight hair back then
You were the typical school nerd
But I never told you that because I didn’t want that smiling face to fade

And to think… your face was one of the things I focused on
Our first meeting was something I somehow remembered
And to think you made me go silent for a while
Every day, I was a busy ocean
I would often have big and small waves dancing around my head
But the moment I saw your face
I was the quietest stream…

You were everything I ever wanted
You had everything I have always daydreamed about
You became the reason I give a great amount of eye contact when striking a conversation
You became the reason I spoke less words than I did back then
You made me not forget about the assignments we had because we’d do it together.
You made me not get distracted by the tick of the clo—

The clock.
The ticking clock.
The clock that dictates the time.
Time.
Time we have left together like this.
Suddenly, everything was about us for me.
I didn’t know how I can keep you to myself

I wrote you letters
I sang songs that reminded me of you
I followed you wherever you went
I tried to make up for the lost time we’ll have

And I’m sorry.
I got everything in my head.
Stupid impulses.

I wanted to change for you.
To stop my disorder for you
I stopped listening to my classes just thinking of you
I forgot about the pieces of paperwork
I get distracted by the clock.

And suddenly I went back to staring at clouds out the window again
Just like you.
You went away with them.

Our times spent.
The laughter we shared.
And the three words I wanted to tell you.

What were those again?
Sorry, I could be forgetful sometimes too.