Tell me,
What do you see when you look at me?
Does this look healthy to you?

I am
At my breaking point. I have no
way of coping with this.
All I think about
day in, day out, is about
how
whether I am going to fail.

I can't fail. I have been brainwashed into
I have been told since I was
very young that I need these to be happy.
I am not happy.

This is a system rigged against me
against us
against people who cannot
control
People who cannot stay calm.
People like me
are falling
drowning in expectation
fear of failing
a fear of the future.

Call me lazy.
You may call me lazy
but I am so exhausted.
Working part time
revising
panicking because this is my everything.
I have no time to be happy
or be productive.
All there is time for is stress
and tears
and I am not happy.