Face entwined in plastic lines,
Neck of twine and foggy mind.
This air is mine, as time declines
I feel okay, I feel alright
As pain and panic climb up high.
My lungs constrict and
Twiggy arms twist;
Tied behind, restricted movement
I can feel myself slip,
This is it, this is it
My body rejects but gives in.
Muted gasps play behind music,
I feel okay, I feel sick
Then suddenly it rips,
And my tongue tastes air of ****
Withered lungs savor it, as
Bittered buds cry with spit.
No tears emit from judging eyes,
No 'why's or cries, just familiar quiet.
I'm fine, I'm fine just leave me in silence.

I could never do anything right.

Caught
Distraught
Endured the pain for naught
Escape is my godly crutch
Into eyes my fingers push
Make me blind from all that hurts
Failure.
Failure
Failure.
Reel away this deadly lure
Let me swim in the unfamiliar
Just give me something good for once
This pain, this pain I've had enough
Don't clutch my thoughts
I've given up.


Trying so hard to feel god's touch
He eludes me every time
So suffer I must
With sickly mind anchored in dust
My arms too weak to pull it up
I strain to feel some happiness
To love the burn of sunlight's kiss
The moon pulls tides of negative
High, in my skull where demons live
Under waves of complete darkness

I'll find the light
I'll try to live
Coax my aching legs to kick
Move my weak body to swim
Until the tides have given in.

I'm sorry you had to see me so pathetic
Squirming so hectic
I regret it, I regret it
I'll ignore the pain that bores
Beneath eyelids
I'll give myself to the light
And hope I find it

I'll let myself curl up and die
When my body and time decides.
Innately, following Mother's lines.

I could never do anything right.

You weren't supposed to come home tonight.

-SLuR