i guess missing you came in stages
none of it was overwhelming
it was just there
a you-shaped hole right in the center of my being

first came the sadness,
everyday was waking hell
and i'd remember how much you joked about leaving me behind
now that it was real i could hardly function
but the sadness didn't last for long

after that winter i was filled with fire
it was anger that numbed my senses
anger at you
at us for not honoring the promises we made

now it is autumn and i lay my head to rest
in the arms of my new lover
she does not have your smile
or the softness of your voice
but she is.

i wonder which star you are
despite it all
i still wonder about you
Cassiopeia seems to be bidding me to sleep