my fingers shook against the white buttons
perched at the hollow of your throat.
i stuttered through an apology
i was eighteen
and still hopelessly in love with you

and i know i gave you up
but there we were
lips against my cheek
thumbs against your hip bones
your shirt on the floor of the car
pink lace on the dashboard

i smiled at the face i knew
and the lips i'd missed
and the laugh i'd loved

you showed up a week later
a new blonde against your side

i still don't know what i should have said