your words were calm last night

so much so that it surprised me

you gently explained that the threat i perceived
was merely an effort to hug and to hold
because you could see the fear in my eyes

you watched my body start to shake and
you saw my mind flash back to before
and leave you standing there alone
while i was grabbed back into another night
a different fight

you rushed to me to hold me
not to hurt me

but the difference blurs in my eyes
and my mind can't seem to sort out
that night from the ones that came before

my eyes couldn't find yours
and my heart wouldn't slow

you did the right thing
but my past
betrayed me in a way that
betrayed you

and
for that
i am sorry