Yes, I'm still the bard of Bayswater, Once was a doormat daughter, Now as the song does say, I have old grey hair and saggy **** these days, Don't know if sparks ever fly from my fingertips, Let alone my ancient fat hips, Now there's broomsticks over Baysie, Yesterday sunny, today sodden and hazy, Floating on a broomstick above Baysie, In a vision of solitude, Why is ignoring football considered rude? Tough, we are all unique, Some old footy players are total creeps, Dateline: crocodile tears: Another classic loss to his team, no cheers!