It was goodbye.
From beginning to end.
Whether we liked it,
or not.
It was a long goodbye,
several years,
stretched out over time,
so that in the end,
there was no pain.
Just memories.
It had its happy moments,
and its sad ones.
Most of those sad moments didn't occur till the end,
when in fact,
I knew it was over.
You see,
most goodbye's,
are short,
bitter,
and are usually full of unbridled rage.
We knew we didn't want that.
We wanted to be able to look back,
and say things ended,
on a good note.
Not an ugly one.
So we began saying goodbye from the beginning,
from the day we met,
we already knew it was over.
We knew someday,
it was gonna end.
One of us,
or maybe both of us,
wouldn't want to be with the other anymore.
Turns out,
it would be her who didn't want to be with me.
The day came,
the dreadful day,
where she said it,
goodbye.
I was okay,
or was I?
We had prepared for this,
for several years,
we built a tower,
a tower of love,
on happy memories.
But one word,
made me forget all of those memories.
Later that night,
I found my gun.
I sat in my room,
with my finger on the trigger,
for hours.
I never pulled that trigger.
I remembered,
the whole time I was with her,
I was saying goodbye.
We were saying goodbye.
We knew it was one big charade,
and that someday,
one of us wouldn't want to play anymore.
But like a fair sport,
the other would have to accept it,
and remember the fun they had playing their game.
So it was okay.
I was alright.
Who thought a goodbye,
could save your life.