I hated myself last night
For the confusion I caused
For stepping out of line
For the intent to deceive

It was silly actually- all over pretty, pink satin shoes
The right people got paid in the end
No one ever knew the lie
All was cordial, all is fine
But even if no one gets hurt, isn't deception for your own personal benefit still wrong?

I just want to be a good person

I took a needle to my arm last night
Until the red of my blood pooled through
Whether to comfort myself or as punishment I'm not quite sure
But who's to say that it can't be both?

I wish I could tell myself that I didn't deserve it