I never learned to hold back. When I fall for someone I want them to know all of me, the good, the bad, the downright ugly. Constantly, I am forced to withdraw, my soldiers told to retreat back into their forts, cease fire.

You told me you had feelings for me, my heart leapt at the chance to finally be open, to be free to fight a valiant battle. But then, as quickly as the battle progressed, it stopped, there was a lull.

You told me sorry, that maybe we should stop, that you don't see a future with me. That I should shut off my feelings. That we should be friends. You wonder why I can't just pretend like your lips never crashed against mine. Like our bodies never crashed together passionately like bombs exploding with every collision.

You make me feel like I am being unreasonable. You liked it better when I was understanding. When my feelings were unclear. But my dear, you were the one that fired the first shot when you decided to crash your lips against mine. When you decided again and again that, although you were unsure, to keep firing. To keep crashing into me.

Yet, you will wonder why I stopped. You will wonder when the smoke finally clears, why I stopped fighting for you.