Dark and quiet..As I sit here at night.
Not a sound to be heard.
Outside of my memories which cry out
I have tried so hard to communicate
and as the sun , stay bright.
The scenes of people walking out on me or scolding me while I
was at my best...
I hang my head in these hours..
as insomnia cruel beats me to rest.
I have people who tell me what or how I should escape
the nightmares unfolding in my life.
They fail to understand that they are not in my shoes.
Forced ways and forced lessons cuts into me
like a knife.
I wish I could have a middle ground.
Where both in a situation prosper
The other doesn't have to fall.
I feel as if when I try to stand up
rather than lie down and wave a white flag...
Those stubborn souls pound my emotions  like
I'm a soccer ball...
I can run about and meet everyone else's goals..
In the end , the game is out of time.
I have lost that winning point.
I end up losing my place in success' line.
I try to express myself and feel comfort in my own
realistic zones....
The opposing team interrupts my relaxed state..
Only to demand another replay..
Horses to finish a race from the starting gate.
Around and around in a circle they go.
Such in my life...I too...
I seem to run.
Victories lead back to the beginning of the circle..
The others win points and earn the win to be free..
Now the quiet and empty hours in which I sit in the dark
Slowly **** my heart like a wilted flower.
If only I could be allowed to blossom and not have to
Play to win these games...
I wouldn't hold my energies of fear in and simply explode.
Bow I await my destiny for yet another sunrise...
I am almost fearful for what will be the suprise.