AARP keeps sending me ****
Letting me know I'm getting old
Buy this insurance
"Die Happy With Us"
****
"Don't leave your loved ones in debt when you die"
****
"No one gives enough a **** to pay for your funeral"
Sonofabitch
"A place for Mom"
What the ****?

Come get me!
Thou great Valkyries
Demons of hell
Angels of Heaven!

But you **** well better know,
AARP
Has got my *** covered!