~





minutes tick away the hours leading to long days and years
and she grows older without a father as witness
no strong hands to help her up or
ever to push her on a merry-go-round
instead they hold my head as I try to push you out   again

a five year old babe on a swing in a park in the sun
moment of memory that I wonder if we share
miniature impersonator of my father and myself
a daughter with sandy highlights plays in my mind’s eye

twice I chose to walk away
and leave you to the world’s device
once as a newborn when ****** ruled my days
and again just after your sixth year


six months until you turn eighteen
a date in the middle of August as important to me
as any moon landing or planned  invasion
when I will give you the chance to decide
if my extended hand could ever fill
the roll of your father  /