Mar 2017
Enough,
I scream to the sort of opposite of my conscience.
Enough..
I whisper as the cruelty of my mind recedes,
But only for a moment.
I want to be more valuable than material goods,
And monetary means.
I want to be better, and stronger,
And someone you're terrified of losing.
Because I'm so scared of losing you,
That it strangles my vocal chords,
And sits on my chest,
Attempting to puncture my lungs.
I am tired.
Tired of fighting it,
The voice in my head that coos and growls,
You're not good enough.
You'll never be enough.
Everyone finds someone better,
And I'm sick of thrashing violently against it's hold.
I'm sick of writhing beneath it's grasp on me,
Because my heart screams that I deny it,
My heart shouts that I have to fight back.
But I'm the only one doing the fighting here.
And I'm so, so tired.
I'm tired of not being enough.
Whether it be good enough
Or enough to make someone want to stay.
All I can do,
Is tell that voice:
ENOUGH!**
With all the fire left in me.
Because I've had enough
Of beating myself down.
But even that shout,
That strong-willed show of disobedience,
Just isn't enough.
I scream to the sort of opposite of my conscience.
Enough..
I whisper as the cruelty of my mind recedes,
But only for a moment.
I want to be more valuable than material goods,
And monetary means.
I want to be better, and stronger,
And someone you're terrified of losing.
Because I'm so scared of losing you,
That it strangles my vocal chords,
And sits on my chest,
Attempting to puncture my lungs.
I am tired.
Tired of fighting it,
The voice in my head that coos and growls,
You're not good enough.
You'll never be enough.
Everyone finds someone better,
And I'm sick of thrashing violently against it's hold.
I'm sick of writhing beneath it's grasp on me,
Because my heart screams that I deny it,
My heart shouts that I have to fight back.
But I'm the only one doing the fighting here.
And I'm so, so tired.
I'm tired of not being enough.
Whether it be good enough
Or enough to make someone want to stay.
All I can do,
Is tell that voice:
ENOUGH!**
With all the fire left in me.
Because I've had enough
Of beating myself down.
But even that shout,
That strong-willed show of disobedience,
Just isn't enough.
