Thought it would make me feel better,
Ended up making me feel worse.
Thought the pain would now be lesser,
Ended up more of a curse.
Thought the words would fade,
Ended up sharpening like blades.
Thought the cards had been laid,
Thought the final blow was made;
Thought my heart was already at ease,
Turns out I was never in peace.
Lengthy lines come out of the dormant,
Some intentional, some half-thought and made,
Some of it just plain,
Some of it just awry,
But all I wanted to say is, I'm sorry.
I've never cut out of my shell,
And I may never be able to be.
Depressed, Demoted, Oppressed,
I've never seen the world for myself:
The world I'm already living in.
I never meant to lash out,
I never meant to make you feel ******,
I never meant to tell you what things I should've never told anyone,
I never meant to compare our lives,
I never meant to upset you.
I never wanted your world to know who I am,
I'd understand if you wouldn't understand,
After all, we've never known each other.
And yet, I seem to feel you close to me;
Like you were beside me.
Now I've made a stupid decision and I don't know how to fix everything.
I have a thousand words to say to you,
But I feel like you wouldn't listen,
And that's fine.
This ain't poetry, this is an apology.
*I'm sorry.